Incidental' Groping
by Relyob
Summary: Set during the Shonan Junai Gumi timeline. Ryuji has fulfilled the deed with Nagisa, whereas Onizuka is still a virgin. So, he goes to Shinomi with his problem but things don't turn out how he wanted them to.


'_**Incidental' Groping**_

Ryuji Danma was a traitor.

_He_ had utterly taken his friend's friendship, torn it to shreds and kicked it away.

_He_ had destroyed Oni-Baku.

_He_ had made Eikichi Onizuka feel like shit.

_He_ was no longer a virgin, whereas Onizuka was.

"I'm pissed, Shinomi. Stupid Ryuji." _Stupid Nagisa! _Onizuka punched the wall beside him whilst trying to hide 'Fanny Buster- Deluxe Edition' under his quilt. He was positive that if Shinomi seen his adult magazine, a slap would be received and Shinomi's slaps were _not _to be taken lightly. "He totally did one over on me, the turd." Finally, he was able to shove the magazine under the quilt without Shinomi noticing. Sitting upright he looked over at her. "I need help."

"...Oh?" The truth was Shinomi adored Onizuka, she loved his idiotic ways, his fighting skills and his personality, but he only ever seen her as his little sister. She realised how desperate he was to get his own back on Ryuji a few days ago when he had asked her... "'Could I please hump you?' Eikichi, don't you realise that _no girl _will ever get into bed with you if you act like that? That's what you need help with." Of course, when he had said this he got a smacker right on the cheek. Seeing him so depressed is what led Shinomi to consider helping Onizuka out and that was why she was sitting at the end of his bed on one Friday afternoon.

"I thought my amazing manners would have boosted my chances a little."

Shinomi rolled her eyes and punched him.

"Come on! How many guys do you know who would have said, 'Please'? Eh?"

"I don't know any man who would be so much of an idiot as to ask a girl, 'Could I please hump you?' than you."

Sighing, Onizuka turned away from her to look out the window. Upon looking out the window and seeing about twenty happy couple's skipping down the street, hand-in-hand, Onizuka's anger raised to the max. He swiftly pulled of his dirty socks, opened the window and hauled them at the nearest couple, "Get a room, you turds!!"

"Huh..?!" One half of the couple who was hit with a sock said.The couple turned around to look for the culprits but seen nothing. Onizuka had ducked underneath the window and was now chuckling evilly with Shinomi. "Abe... Who was that?"

Abe, who was rubbing his head, glanced around the place but nobody was acting out of the ordinary. "Hmm..." He put his arm around today's date, "That sounded strangely like Onizuka and he only lives over there... Never mind, if it happens again I'll sort it out." He smiled smugly at her then they continued on their way.

"Oh Abe... I love you!"

"I know babe, I know."

Meanwhile, in Onizuka's bedroom, the two friend's were silently laughing, "There was no need for that, Eikichi! Abe's gonna be mad if he finds out that was you." She looked to her friend. He was still laughing, looking like a mad man, but laughing nonetheless, it was good to see him smile. When he stopped, Onizuka smiled genuinely at her and she returned it.

"Shinomi..." Onizuka whispered, leaning his face towards her. _Ahh! Totally ending my virginity... _He closed his eyes and let his body relax.

Gulping, Shinomi also leaned in. She wanted this just as much as Onizuka did but for different reasons. She knew he didn't like her in the way that she wanted him but just to spend one night with him would be heaven. He had confided in her and came to her for help with his problem and it would be her who would help him. She would solve it. "..Eikichi... I've wanted this... _Forever._" She, too, closed her eyes and leaned in towards Onizuka's mouth.

_Hahahah! _A little bit of drool escaped from Onizuka's mouth as his eyes opened, his arms shot forward like a torpedo to Shinomi's breasts and he began to squeeze them, "Onizuka likey!"

This was _not _how it was supposed to be. Growling, Shinomi's eyes immediately opened. She pulled her head away from Onizuka's, raised her fist and sent Onizuka flying to the other side of the room.

"Ow!" Onizuka groaned, rubbing his cheek, "Why can't you act like a normal girl for a change?! You wench!" Shinomi was seriously considering beating him to a pulp but instead, she decided to just make evil remarks about him under her breath and calmly leave the room. "God! I'm gonna be a virgin forever!!"Onizuka started to shout whilst kicking the wall. Several veins started to appear on his forehead and tears of anger rolled down his cheeks, "That's it; I'll take what I want!" He ran to his wardrobe and grabbed a pair of socks and shoes then place them on his feet swiftly and ran out the door in search for some victims, "I'm going to show every stinking stuck up chick on the planet- You diss Eikichi..." Spotting a girl on the sidewalk resulted in Onizuka's devil teeth showing, "...YOU UNLEASH THE BEAST!"

* * *

God, I heart Eikichi Onizuka. He's so cool. (: Okay well hi! This is set near the end of the 8th volume of Shonan Junai Gumi. If you haven't read that and want to know a little about what's going on I'll fill you in. There are spoilers here by the way:  
Ryuji is no longer a virgin; he's done the deed with Nagisa whilst leaving Onizuka in the dust. So, feeling really pissed of that Ryuji went on ahead of him, Onizuka looks for girl's to do it with and that leads him to his friend, Shinomi that he's known from childhood. –Just read volume 8 of Shonan Junai Gumi, 'cause the end of it is absolutely hilarious.  
This bit here actually didn't happen in the manga, it goes straight from Onizuka asking Shinomi, 'Could I please hump you?' to him saying the 'You diss Eikichi, you unlash the beast!' but I just wanted to add this in 'cause I love the two characters so much. Shonan Junai Gumi completely rocks! Just like GTO.

I hope you enjoyed!

Onizuka forever. 8) xo


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